To new beginnings

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Today marks 36 years of humanhood. Happy Birthday to me.

A much as I love milestones, clear markers, fresh starts - all that good stuff, I have never been a fan of celebrating my birthday. In childhood it always meant being the center of attention, trying on gifts for people (super uncomfortable as a fat adolescent), dealing with adults over drinking  and a whole host of other traumas. 

I am sure there were celebrations I enjoyed as a small child, and for sure a few I enjoyed with my friends in my twenties, but overall birthdays suck. Well, at least they used to. 

As June approached, my godmother - mother - cousin - and husband began asking me how I would like to celebrate. I fed them all lines about how my shift into minimalism, not wanting gifts, how being vegan would make it hard, how I did not want to burden people with spending time and money on me... the list went on. 

Two nights before today, I realized what I was doing. All of these people were asking me about my birthday not to create stress or inconvenience, but because they themselves wanted to celebrate my existence. I was being selfish. I have the right to be if that is what I want, but that was not what I wanted. 

After a bit of reflection and a sudden burst of "I can do this", I made a last minute decision to flip my birthday into a time where I could invite these important people to my home for a dinner in honor of their contributions to my life. I switched my perception on what a birthday celebration had been in my past, and I made it into something new that actually brought a tremendous amount of joy into my life. Suddenly I found myself filled with excitement over the possibility of spending time with those who care and love me the most. 

Last night I hosted a family dinner. I cooked an all vegan meal for my guest. We had a delicious cake. We took shots of kombucha. We listened to classic records on vinyl. We had great conversation and laughed way past my bedtime.

I woke up this morning, a little tired, but with so much gratitude in my heart. I am convinced that thirty-six will bring greatness and a new outlook on life. Taking control over this past trigger has inspired me to continue the movement of positive energy.

I made a list - yes, I am one of those kinds of people - where I identified thirty-six intentions that I would like to focus on for the coming twelve months. This blog will serve as a record for how I am building upon these intentions and the journey I am on.

Thank you for stopping by. I hope to see you around.